Dealing with Problematic behaviour 

How to deal with Passive-Aggressive behaviour.

People who are passive-aggressive often don’t take responsibility for their behaviour, in other words, their don’t own their feelings. They can be very persistently pessimistic, in situations where it is actually going very well.

Their family might see a person who is driving them “crazy” while the rest of the world sees a “saint”. Let me briefly explain some of the passive-aggressive behaviour warning signs:

They fail to keep promises and blame others for their own personal failures. They exaggerate misfortunes and can make themselves the victims in any and all situations. They sabotage the efforts of others and consistently complain that they are misunderstood and unappreciated. Colleagues and family members describe their general conduct as “crazy-making-behaviour”, because they avoid work and social obligations. When they don’t comply with obligations they make all kinds of excuses and complain.

Inter Trauma Nexus uses a multi-professional approach in dealing with people. This is one of the situations where we advice family members to utilize the help of  professionally trained people.

The first thing I would suggest is for the family member, concerned friend or employer to get the help from a professional to assist them in stopping to “play the game” of the person who utilizes the passive-aggressive behaviour. Some tips are:

·         Dealing with your own feelings of guilt, because you’re not to blame for another persons behaviour.

·         Stop playing their game, because this person might not know how to respond appropriately to conflict and is likely to deny everything. It is important to express your concerns and feelings, but stick to the facts at hand. It is also important to express how their actions make you feel.

·         Keeping quite for peace sake and not confronting the passive-aggressive behaviour will only reinforce it. As soon as you become aware of their dishonest behaviour, confront them and let them know you are confused by the behaviour. Be clear that if they value the relationship, the behaviour has to stop.

·         Don’t let them get away with bad behaviour and let them of the hook and continue their inappropriate behaviour. Try to create an atmosphere in which they might feel more comfortable sharing their feelings of anger, fear or resentment.

I would strongly advice any person who are aware he/she is passive-aggressive to contact a psychologist (clinical or counselling) specializing in disorders of personality and a specialist pastoral counselor to help them on this road of getting new skills.

"We pray that we will be able to help people to see the grace of God and to reach their full potential through our Ministries."

" We are committed to help people to come in a dynamic relationship with God, because then they will be at peace with themselves and they will be able to work at their relationships with others."
Wynand & Barbara Louw, Founders of ITN.

"My personal goal is to encourage al least one person a day and I know that will make a difference."
Barbara Louw CEO for ITN.

Nexus Nuus*News